Being Still in 2018

Between a new baby and the holidays these past few months have been quite the whirlwind. It's taken me a little longer to figure out my yearly theme. I kept trying to find time to reflect on 2017 and look ahead to the new year. But my reflection time kept getting interrupted by just life. And time and time again, as I tried to get things done & take time to reflect, I felt prompted to just be still and to just listen and be present. I've had a word for the past 9 years and this is year 10 - how crazy it that? A decade of themes.

BEING BOLD in 2009

RECKLESS in 2010

SOPHISTICATED in 2011

AUDACIOUS in 2012

LIMITLESS in 2013

RESTARTING in 2014

AUTHENTIC in 2015

PERSEVERING in 2016

SIMPLIFY in 2017

and now BEING STILL in 2018

The world has enough busyness and distractions. With my sweet new baby, I've felt the need to slow down and find more quiet moments to be still and present. Being still doesn't mean lack of action. In fact it takes CONSCIOUS effort to be still and slow down to be fully present in the moment. 

I still believe there is power in writing down goals. But instead of writing out a long list of goals for the new year I've decided to try and make it a little more manageable by setting weekly and monthly goals that will evolve with the year because life with a newborn is crazy and I'm sure life is going to change with each stage and season. That way I can take time to be still each day and month and refocus to see how I'm doing and maybe what areas may need some help. This month I'm mainly focusing on being present with my little guy. Everyone tells me how quickly this time goes & so I want to soak in all the snuggles & smiles. 

The biggest thing I'm learning this month is that BEING PRESENT IS BEING PRODUCTIVE. I've written about my problem with trying to be over productive & restless before over here and had already been learning to focus on being still last year. I thought I'd learned this lesson already after my accident, but having a new baby made me realize we continue to relearn lessons as our lives & circumstances change.

Now for my smaller monthly goals my focus for January is being present with William.  I loved THIS talk where he says to choose one thing stop each day & one thing to start. I loved how simple that was and its so easy to implement at any time. And then my other goals for the month was to incorporate more "spiritual food" in my day as well as physical exercise/movement. With the new year I'm also trying to write more and putting out more videos, tips & insight into my life as an incomplete paraplegic mom - not so people can comment and say how amazing we are, but so somehow someday someone who was looking for resources (like I was) on "paraparenting" can find help and ideas. I use a wheelchair, walker, crutches and actually a lot of crawling. 

I share to give hope. Hope for others with disabilities or injuries who wonder what their future holds. Hope for the mother whose child was born with a disability and  wonder what their future will look like. Hope to those who may be facing challenges, illness and setbacks. Hope that one day all will be made right and all that is broken may be whole again because there is a Savior who atoned for all our sins, pains, sickness and injustices. Hope for a bright future regardless of our trials and circumstances.

With the passing of our dear prophet, Thomas S. Monson and Russel M. Nelson being called in his passing, I've started listening to talks and words of counsel they've each given. There are too many to list them all, but here's just one from each that would be worth a listen. 

Finding Joy in the Journey

Becoming True Millennials 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

B L E S S I N G D A Y

We won't get into the whole name change ordeal here, but we had been calling William, William, over the Christmas holiday and obviously he was blessed with the correct name. Actually most of the time we called his snuggy bear, boo bear and all sorts of nick names. But we had told family about the name change to William weeks before his blessing on New Years Eve. 

Trevor gave our sweet babe a blessing first off giving him his name. I was still uncertain with any name at that point and told Trevor to bless him with whatever name he wanted when he went up - haha. Trevor reassured me and told me he felt the spirit right before he said Will's name, which was comforting to me. 

My family lives all over the country now, but had been in town and we'd been hanging out in St. George together for a few days. So we all drove back up north to Clearfield/Layton area, where we now live, for his baby blessing. We were going to do it up in Logan, but last minute I changed my mind and just wanted a smaller more intimate environment and I'm so glad I did. 

Trevor's family all live up in Logan and were able to drive down, but his sister & family had to leave right after the blessing.

Trevor's cousin Trae is like a brother to him & we invited him to come and be apart of the baby blessing as well. They had their baby boy, Kenny, 2 weeks before William was born. 

The afternoon seemed to fly by, but we managed to snap a couple of pictures while our families were over after church. For right now William doesn't have any competition and gets to be the favorite grandchild on the Fisher side.

JORDAN SHOWING AFFECTION TOWARDS COOPER. Jordan is always so busy in the lab and with his studies I just had to document this and I know he secretly loves Cooper and throws the ball to him when he stays at my in-laws house.

Looking back at these pictures Trevor says that Will looks fake like a baby doll. I can't believe how little he was - oh sweet boy. I loved his little blessing outfit, but never took any pictures of just him in it - silly mom. 

Grandma Diane is always so sweet with Will and we are so lucky to live to close to visit on Sunday's.

Little did I know that William's head was 98th percentile and already growing out of all his 0-3 month hats. 

Trevor saying "take him back" while he was crying during pictures.

Lets be real, 2 month olds don't cooperate for pictures.

Somebody loves their Grandpa & gave their first smiles on the morning of his blessing day. 

William & Kenny just hanging out. Also this is the closest picture I have to capturing Will in his sweet blessing outfit. 

CHRISTMAS BREAK

We got to spend Christmas weekend up in Logan at the Franks.

(Will's little leg cracks me up in this picture - babies are so flexible.)

William got to be baby Jesus, in the Frank Family Christmas eve Nativity program. It's crazy to look back and see how big he was getting and yet how baby and floppy he was at this time. 

The funniest part of he night was definitely cousin Mason, who was one of the three sheep. But he didn't want to be a sheep so his mom told him he was an albino donkey and he ran around going

 "hee haw hee haw"

Trevor used a few more days of his paternity leave to come down to St. George and spend some time with the Fisher family after Christmas. With a new baby and a new fiance, it was the only chance we had to be all together before the wedding. It was so great to be in warmer weather & spend more time around Braden & Tori. While everyone was in town we caravanned up to our place for William's baby blessing on New Years Eve. 

Then family pictures up Snow Canyon.

 WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

ALL BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE FELL IN LOVE

The siblings + spouses. I don't think I could have picked out my sibling's spouses before hand, but they are both perfect. 

THE GIRLS

THE BOYS

We always knew my family was Team Trevor

The real debate is who's the funniest Laura or Christian? His only flaw was breaking up with Laura before Christmas break - haha Kaaren will never let him live that down.

Most recently we added Tori to the bunch. We all wondered who Braden would end up with and what type of girl he was interested in. Lets just say he hit the JACKPOT. Tori is cute, smart, sweet, witty and thoughtful. We just love her!

While in St. George we met up with some friends & Laura's in-laws for ice cream. Will got to meet his Godmother, and my life-flight nurse, JAN! 

We also went for a hike up Snow Canyon and even found some rocks that I could hike up. Will was almost 2 months, and he pretty much slept the whole hike. With all the working adults we didn't have a ton of time all together, but we got in a couple rounds of pickle ball too!

Almost six years out from my accident, I'm still not exempt from those waves of grief and loss. Nature is where I feel most at peace and it's my favorite place to be and explore. So when we arrived at Snow Canyon I was so excited to explore. I'm well aware that I can no longer enjoy nature the way I used to by running and climbing around. But I know I can still get out and enjoy nature with the abilities I do have. When we arrived a couple of family members mentioned a hike and overlook and suddenly our group was splitting up. Now I had no idea how long they'd be gone or where the hike was going, but I knew I couldn't go. So we parted ways and tears immediately began to swell in my eyes. I missed those types of adventures and my old body.

Now don't get me wrong I still want others to enjoy those hikes & adventures, but no one had really talked about this detour and I didn't have a chance to prepare and cope with this before hand. I think I was most upset that no one had communicated this beforehand and then there I was facing my loss of mobility. 

It turned out the hike wasn't that long and the group met back up sooner that I'd imagined in my mind, but I was still in the midst of those waves of grief and loss, as I slowly tried to walk up the trail one painful step at a time. 

After giving myself time to feel those emotions and understand what was going on and I explained to my family why I was upset. We were able to go on and enjoy the rest of the hike and even find a rock that I could climb and hike up with my crutches.