Do you have a favorite birthday?
That question may seem silly or childish. But for me I definitely have a favorite birthday - no competition. Five years ago on this exact date I was running around crazy on my 21st birthday. When I say "running around crazy" - I mean literally RUNNING. I don't exactly remember when the idea set in, but I decided what better way to celebrate my 21st birthday than by running 21 miles - totally logical and normal right? It was my first and last official "birthday miles". It was my absolute FAVORITE birthday. The day was spent doing what I loved - running. I've said it before, but I'm definitely an outgoing introvert. I loved my time alone, but I also loved my time visiting and celebrating with friends.
Are you allowed to feel sad on your birthday? Now this isn't a cry for help or pity; it's just me being honest. My birthday in Logan reminds me of my 21st birthday and the 21 miles I spent running around the valley. If I could have ONE birthday wish it would be to run my "birthday miles". If I could have ANYTHING in the whole world that would be it. I found a quote awhile back that helped me realize it's okay to feel grief and sadness.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.You will be whole again, but you will never be the same" -Elizabeth Kulber-Ross
I think holidays and special occasions are especially hard for those who have experienced loss. And while my loss in not the loss of someONE it was a loss of someTHING I loved dearly - running. So I'm realizing that it's only natural that I experiences these waves of grief and sadness around these "special times" AKA my birthday. For you it may be the approaching holidays or a special date during the year. Regardless of the day and the loss the grief comes and goes. I'm learning to embrace the grief instead of shunning the sorrow. As I've embraced the feelings associated with grief, I've also been able to experience more joy.
My 24th year was a year full of growth. I blogged about the 24 things I learned HERE. And now as I look back over my 25th year, I can't believe how much more growth, learning and change has occurred! I definitely haven't blogged as much this year. Between the wedding, being a wife, a full-time teacher and "wannabe" full-time athlete - it's been a little busy. I was going to post 25 lessons I've learned in my 25th year to keep up the tradition, but let's be honest, right now I just don't have time for that. Plus I'm trying to learn to keep these blog posts short and sweet.
Five years since my favorite birthday and I still choose to celebrate life - the good, the bad and everything in between - both today and everyday. There is no way I could have ever imagined this life I'm living now. One of the main lessons I've learned this year is that God's plan and timing is so much better than what we can plan or imagine. Although I won't be out on the trails running 26 miles like I imagined 5 years ago, you better bet I'll still be outside exercising.
CHEERS TO 25 YEARS AND NOW ONTO 26!