A Cure

This year I scheduled William's 4 month appointment on March 12, 2018. I didn't even realize the date until a few weeks later I was looking at my calendar and realized I had scheduled his appointment on my 6 year anniversary of my accident. S I X  Y E A R S. Normally on the anniversary of my accident I take the day off and spend it outside filled with gratitude. But this year we changed his doctor appointment and I spent my morning in the middle of motherhood. And on top of that Monday's are my laundry day and happened to be my grocery pick up day too. After Will's nap we spent hours playing outside with Cooper & welcoming this Utah spring weather. 

These past 6 years have been filled with so much growth and learning. Even after 6 years I'm still learning new lessons and be retaught old lessons I thought I'd already learned. I'm in the process of writing a much more detailed account of my accident and all the specific experiences and lessons I've had these past 6 years. But it's a lot so it's going to take awhile.

One lesson I've learned is that God is still a God of miracles. Early on after my accident I was given many blessings and prayers of healing - many specifically spoke of walking. At the time I thought that healing and walking meant that I would be back to normal walking and maybe, just maybe, one day I'd be running.

With the passing of time and increased understanding, I realize that although this is not the walking I expected, it is walking nonetheless. I guess I needed to be more explicit with God about what I meant by walking - just kidding :) As difficult and painful as every step may be - THEY ARE STEPS. Although I may need my arm crutches to walk, I'm on my own two feet feeling weight push through my legs. But most importantly I'm alive. I know people don't typically fall 80-100 feet and survive. Every day past March 12, 2012 is a blessing and such a gift because I know my life could very well have ended this day 6 years ago.

At times it has been difficult to comprehend how God is a God a miracles and has the ability to heal me completely, but hasn't done so. My personal relationship with my Heavenly Father has deepened these past 6 years and I've come to learn more about the nature of God.  I've come to have the faith in knowing that God could heal me, but He has not. Instead he has gone on and taught me how to have the faith not to be healed, strengthened me physically and spiritually to carry my burdens, as well as helping me learn patience and how to endure joyfully. 

Early on after my accident there was so much research and information coming at us, as we tried to understand the diagnosis I was facing. Over the years through research and meeting countless patients I have not read about or met one person that has been completely "healed" - or back to normal after a true spinal cord injury of a serious and traumatic nature. Even the most recent, studies of epidural stimulators do not reverse the damage and effects of paralysis. Right now the facts are rather simple in the medical world. 

Although there are many advancements and great progress, there is no cure for paralysis here on earth,  but there is a cure.

As I listened to the talk And There Shall Be No More Death, given in an LDS General Conference (another one coming up Easter weekend on LDS.org), I was reminded of something that has brought so much peace into my life. 

"The miracle of resurrection, the ultimate cure is beyond the power of modern medicine. But it is not beyond the power of God."

This man's daughter faced cancer in this life that eventually took her life. But before she passed she wrote: "...but there is a cure, so I'm not scared. Jesus has already cured my cancer and yours... I will be better."

How comforting it is to know that Christ has already cured my spinal cord injury. He has already cured my paralysis. It is so beautiful to me to know that there is a cure. Regardless of the illness or injury you may face the is a cure. Whether that be cancer, cystic fibrosis, ALS, or other incurable diseases that exist here on earth. It brings tears of hope and joy to my eyes knowing that after this earthly life I will be cured. Paralysis will no longer rule my body and it is because of Christ and his atonement and resurrection that makes that all possible. He truly is the Master Healer and the Great Physician. Modern medicine may not have a cure for spinal cord injuries and paralysis, but Christ does.

How truly grateful I am for this knowledge and the hope that pours into my soul because I know that "resurrection makes it possible for a person's spirit and body to be united again, only this time that body will be immortal and perfect - not subject to pain, disease or other problems."

I know that God is still a God of miracles. He has the ability to heal all ailments and injustices in life. He is also a just and merciful God. He sent us here to earth to learn and grow and my paralysis has given me opportunities to develop and learn more than I could have in any other way. I have experienced the healing power of Christ's atonement to heal me emotionally, spiritually and physically. And I know that because of that same atonement there is a cure for every illness in life.

We happened to be down in St. George for my brother's wedding last weekend. While on our way to the luncheon, I realized we'd passed Cougar Cliff - where my accident happened. On our way out of town Trevor & I decided to stop by and pay our respects. Will was already asleep so we took him out in his car seat to show him the place. 

As we stood there I offered a prayer of gratitude and it only confirmed that everything good in my life now has come since my accident. My little family of Cooper, Will & Trevor all happened after my accident. But more than anything the cliff just felt like a cliff. Ever since my 4 year anniversary rappel (if you'd like to read more about that you can click ( here, here or here) I really felt like I'd claimed my accident and that experience and that it no longer ruled my life. I took ownership of my circumstances and trials & determine my destiny day by day as I choose to live a joyful life. My life was definitely headed in a different direction before my accident happened - it wasn't a bad direction just very different. Through my accident God was able to redirect my path that led me to meeting Trevor. 

My accident has brought me two of the biggest blessings that life can hold: marriage and motherhood. 

This morning as I spent time playing and taking care of Will I knew that he is one of the reasons my life didn't end 6 years ago at the bottom of the cliff. I know that I was saved and preserved because I still had a mission to accomplish and more work to do and motherhood is an essential part of the work that I was saved to do.