FRIENDS WHO HAVE YOUR BACK

YOU NEED FRIENDS LIKE THESE

As my friend Haley says. 

Friends that have your back - figuratively and literally.  These girls knew the "old" Brittany or should I say pre-accident Brittany. Even before my accident, I knew these friends had my back.  But that took on a whole new meaning after my accident and an even more literal meaning the night of Emily's wedding a few weeks ago. For the first time in years we were all together in the same place for such a happy occasion. The day had been so wonderful & we arrived at the wedding dinner. I was sitting in the grass playing with Will, while everyone else sat in chairs - I'm just really a floor person. Any time I'm given the chance, I'd rather sit on the ground. I lunged forward to surprise Will & suddenly my dress split up the back. Yes, it made that terrible sound like you've hear in the movies. I just started laughing knowing that my back was exposed. Haley came to the rescue and was able to knot up the hole with a hair tie and help cover for me as we walked into the house. Then we all proceeded to squeeze into the bathroom and brainstorm a solution. Lucky for me, my friends are so creative. Liz documented while Haley & Annaliesa found needed and thread to stitch me into my dress. It was such a sweet comical memory, if I didn't know it before these girls have my back covered. 

"Friendship is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others."

C.S. Lewis

A few days before we had a chance to get together for a girls night & last fling before Emily got married. It was so comfortable & heart warming to be together again. There were a couple comments brought up about my accident & the time afterwards. I was surprised as I choked back tears, as I responded. These girls had been some of my most vigilant friends after my accident. They knew and understood things that very few others did and so I don't typically encounter such raw conversations. How grateful I am for the beauty, sweetness & healing their friendships have brought into my life. 

ힰ   ힰ   ힰ   ힰ

August, OH what a wonderful month it has been, filled with so much love, celebration, happiness and dear friends. Three of our best friends got married with in three weeks so it's been a little crazy in the best way possible. First there was Britten & Alisa. In high school they were known as the Cyclones, I'm pretty sure it's form a basketball team name, but it just kind of stuck. Most recently, Britten joined the marriage club. We met Alisa a few weeks before the wedding in a random parking lot on a Sunday afternoon and we were smitten - haha. Then after spending the wedding day together we were able to learn even more that we loved about Alisa. She is headstrong and drive, but so compassionate and loving, which is EXACTLY what Britten needed.

Britten & I were both in traumatic accidents within days of each other, back in March 2012. I first met Britten on a double date and it wasn't until later afterwards that Trevor told me all Britten had been through. We are the miracle Britt's and Trevor's Britt's - he takes such good care of us. I now claim Britten as my friend too, even if it was Trevor that introduced us. After Trevor & I broke up he and Britten were able to be roommates and I'm honestly so glad they had that experience.

Not all the Cyclones were able to make it in for the wedding, but we got to see Chase, as well as Tyson & Victoria (plus their new little Isla who was only 3 weeks olds) I think the last time they were together was at our wedding so it was so fun to see them all again! 

Before Britten & Alisa got engaged I texted Britten about his birthday and meeting his girlfriend. The next day, Alisa was no longer his girlfriend, but his fiance, and he didn't give us the slightest inkling! That little stinker.

We love getting to see Chase. Trevor got to hang out a few months ago when I had a baby shower in Provo and we got to see the salt and pepper in person. Each time we part, we are reminded how much we love Chase and although we don't have official godparents, Chase is definitely Will's godfather. 

Then Mrs. Herring - what a whirlwind it has been. When we first caught wind of a possible August wedding, Trevor took time off work and we started planning a trip to Hawaii where we they were living. It's hard to keep up with Haley's fast pace life, even for herself. So quick summary they ended up getting married in the mountains on Hawaii, moving to Japan, only to have her honey and new husband deployed 6 days later. Lucky for us, she was coming back to Utah for her sister's wedding and we were able to throw her a surprise party.

It was the night before her sister's reception and the day after she'd traveled around the world to be here. But with lots of coordinating we were able to get so many people that love Haley in one place, including her mom & sisters. Normally tears aren't a good sign, but in this case I think it was a successful surprise. Oh and if you know Haley then you know party's come with a theme & costumes. So her bridal shower was definitely NACHO AVERAGE, Frida Kahlo, Mexican & Cafe Rio theme.

My sweet Emily is married too! It worked out that Annaliesa & Haley were able to extend their trips to the mainland to be there for Emily's wedding and it has been the absolute best! We've been able to get together on multiple occasions. We weren't all roommates at the same time, but Annaliesa, Haley & I were roommates freshman year when we met Emily in our ward. After Annaliesa was married we moved into the red roofed house in Logan and Liz moved in as a random roommate and turned into the dearest friend. It really is amazing how college brings you together with some of your dearest friend. My heart has been so full each night we've been together. 

My heart has been so full and giddy being bath with old college roommates. We just bring out the immaturity in each other. After the wedding we had a couple hours so we made and In & Out pit stop. Will fell asleep in the car and Trevor was happy to stay in the car and watch football while he slept. Meanwhile inside we were trying to airdrop this ketchup stick figures to anyone around us. We would see people around us decline the airdropped photos and just couldn't contain our laughter. 

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

We literally danced the night away. Trevor was holding sleepy Will during most of the dancing, while us girls took the dance floor by storm. William woke up and Annaliesa danced with him while Trevor & I were able to share a couple of dances. After a few dances I was physically exhausted and so Trevor & I sat back down. Don't mind me while I gush for a moment, but Trevor looked at me under the trees & starry night sky on that refreshing summer night and I could just see his love for me in his smiles & his eyes.  Sorry, just a mushy moment I want to remember forever. 

Will has been doing so great with all these crazy wedding schedules. He's learned how to 

party hard and nap harder.  

 It was the perfect night and happiest day for our sweet Emily. 

My heart wanted to burst & I wish I could capture that look on camera. But my world just felt so complete as we sat under this beautiful tree with the love of my life, watching one of my best friends dance with my baby, and watching another best friend dance with her new husband and love. Life just felt so perfect and time seemed to slow down in that moment. As I sat back and watched all this beauty, I just tried to soak it all in, not through a little glowing screen, but with my own two eyes and with my heart and soul.

But wait, there's more - Cortney! We first met before moving out to Tennessee to live and work together at  CLIMB Works in the Smokey Mountains. With all the weddings this month there was bound to be conflicts in schedules. But I'm so glad I was able to celebrate with her at her bachelorette party and see so many other sweet friends from Utah State days.

Another friend was in town during the wedding mania weeks. Kristin & I were pregnant at the same time & our boys are less than 2 weeks apart - even though Will has a good 4 lbs on Ollie, he was moving all around, while Will sat and played on the blanket. It's so fun to be able to navigate and move through the different stages of motherhood with a friend.

   

     

While I'm catching up on play dates...We stopped to see my college teammate and friend, Brittany & her baby girl, Blakely before they moved to Iowa for medical school. We were able to snag a few moments together & meet her sweet baby girl. . 

   

Annaliesa's gang was visiting the longest & so back in July we were able to drive down for Davey's first birthday. It was so fun to see the babies and all the different levels of development. Davey bear crawls around & very recently started walking. But as you can see in the pictures Will is bigger than Davey and he wasn't even 9 months at the time. 

Our boys are 3 months apart & I just can't wait to continue to go on family vacations and see how the boys grow up together and become real friends. There were multiple girls nights and family dinners that I didn't snap any pictures. They were just such beautiful moments and people that I was just soaking in every minute being together. What a beautiful month of love, friendship & celebration. I'm just so grateful for such dear relationships that make life so sweet. 

And of course I'll end up with the boy I spend most of my time with. He lights up our world & has been so flexible during this crazy month of love, parties and celebration. It was always good to have some calm normal days between all the fun. 

GLORIOUS

For years now, I’ve been self-conscious of my atrophied legs. When I first saw these pictures & video, part of me wanted to change into different pants that disguised my atrophied legs a little better. But then I remembered . . .

🎵I AM BRAVE, I AM BRUISED, THIS IS WHO I’M MEANT TO BE • THIS • IS • ME 🎵

The other week I spoke about this theme & the reminder that we are GLORIOUS. Not because of our physical bodies, style or status, but because of who we are on the inside. 

So today and always remember that you are GLORIOUS.

This song is so inspired. What incredible word choice - not incredible or awesome or beautiful, but GLORIOUS. And it doesn't stop there the lyrics are so powerful & relatable. If I wrote every line that I related to, I'd be rewriting all the lyrics. So instead I'll just include them down below.

If you ever need a reminder how to feel glorious watch this video. Keep watching & singing along until you can belt it with the same conviction. It gives me chills watching this & brings tears to my eyes because I know this is true about of each and every one of us.

I'm not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one will love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are GLORIOUS

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become

Won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

...This is me

And I know that I deserve your love
There's nothing I'm not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is bruised
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

(Whenever the words wanna cut me down
I'll send the flood to drown them out)
This is me

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BALANCE

After Will was born I really struggled to find balance & a good routine. It took awhile to learn that there's no such thing as balance. It's all about priorities and making them a priority, because there is no way you can balance it all - and you know what?! We weren't meant to.

I LOVED THIS REMINDER:

God has not intended that we should be able to do everything we would like to do. If there were not more to do than we are individually capable of doing, we wouldn't have to make choices and we would never realize what we value most.

Jeanne Inouye

Free agency & choices are a big part of our earthly life. In the end, our small day to day choices will determine our destiny and the direction we go in life. I've talked about this before, but the choice to agree to go rappelling the day of my accident didn't change my life as much as the small day to day decisions of choosing joy, optimism, faith & being consistent.

I thrive on structure & routine and the first 3 months of Will were anything but that. I never knew when he was sleepy or how long he'd sleep or when he'd wake up or go to bed. I'd get dressed in my workout clothes and would try and sneak out during his sporadic naps to try and move my body. I wish I'd just taken 30 minutes for myself and "me time" to exercise and move my body. I knew the times I needed to pump and so I'd try and get some structure and things done during those 15-20 minutes.

Since April, we've had a really good routine going. I've been using this chart to help me organize my priorities and most important to-do's. There are 4 check boxes and 4 priorities that I want to be sure to do every day -

spiritual, physical, mental & temporal.

For the last 3 months or so Will has been sleeping through the night and is on a pretty consistent sleep schedule and so I started waking up at 6 AM. First I get ready with just the bare minimum & put on my workout clothes. Then by 6:15 I've started reading God's word. Right now I'm studying in the Doctrine & Covenants. I've always loved studying there because it feels so easily applicable to my life.

One of my favorite verses as of late is:

D&C 6:8 Verily I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be unto you; if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation.

Verse 33 & 34 also go on to talking about doing good.

As I've tried to be more intentional with my social media lately and what I want my purpose and mission to be there, this verse has helped me clarify my vision. I want to be the means of "doing much good" and #sharegoodness. That is it at the end of the day I want to share goodness and light with others.

Back to my morning routine. By 6:30 AM I'm either out for a mountain board ride or on my ski erg for 30 minutes. When I get back or while I'm on the ski erg, Trevor is off to the gym. Then I'll jump right in and go get Will when he wakes up, make breakfast, pack Trevor's lunch & the order always depends on how long Will sleeps in, but it's typically never past 7:30.

There was another talk I listened to and it talked about what we do shows our kids our priorities more than what we say. We've been all over the place with our family scripture study and life is only going to get busier so we've committed to family scripture study at breakfast. Back in April while we were doing the Whole 30, we got in the routine of having breakfast together and I really liked it. So I figured why not add some scriptures to that time.

David A Bednar also spoke on balance and explained that:  

there is no such thing as balance so don't worry about it.

He related a Chinese acrobat spinning all these plates on a stick to our priorities in life. He talked about how in order to be successful you can't have too many plates. "Somethings are nice, a few things are essential. Make sure that you focus on the things that are essential." He went on to explain that it's impossible for all the plates to spin at the exact same speed, but that we need to pay attention to all the plates so they don't fall off - and so it is with life.

By 7 AM, two of my four check mark priorities are already done. Lately my mental check boxes have been writing. I have so much I'm constantly working on. Between girls camp talks, other speaking engagements, blogging and sharing paraparenting tips, I feel like I'm never caught up. I check the box, as long as I've done a little writing, some days thats just a title or a paragraph, then I can check the box. Finally, my temporal tasks for the day vary based on the day of the week. Monday's are laundry & groceries, Wednesday are bathroom and the other days may have a note next to them of medical bills, leases, organize a closet etc.

With these four daily tasks, I'm able to focus on my priorities. This way I feel more accountable for my days and all the other minutes in the day are devoted to Will. Lately after his first morning nap we'll take Cooper down to the dog hill, which is only shaded in the morning. I'll stretch and work on some physical therapy exercises, while intermittently throwing the ball to Cooper and playing with Will, but mostly he enjoys being outside and is pretty easy to please.

One hour of "me time" is well worth the investment. The last thing I've been doing lately is not dealing with social media until after I've completed my spiritual, physical & mental tasks for the day. It just helps me keep a clear space in my day to focus on my priorities and also reinsures that I look to God before I look to the world. So to simplify everything my morning looks like this:

6:00 AM

Wake up/simple get ready/put on workout clothes

6:15 AM

Scripture study

6:30 AM

Workout

7:00 AM

Make breakfast/Pack lunch/Feed & change Will

7:45 ish

Breakfast & family scripture study

*In case life happens and those days when Will wakes up early or I need an extra half hour of sleep, I do my workout & scripture study time after he goes down for his first nap around 9 AM depending on how early he wakes up because that's just life.

I loved THIS talk that I quoted earlier. It was given in 1993 and I feel as though the world has only gotten busier, pulling our attention and focus in more directions. So I'll end with a few more counsel Jeanne gave in this talk. 

"Do not make the mistake of being drawn off into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignments...We may not be able to do everything, but He will bless us in our efforts to do those things he asked us to do."